I woke up at 169 today and was a little tinsy bit pissed off at myself. I was suppose to wake up at 166.9 and fucked up entirely because I'm a moron, so I've been fasting today.
For some reason, I feel really good about it. To tell you the truth, I usually consume MASSIVE amounts of calories while fasting. I buy coffee WITH CREAMER from coffee shops. NOT SMART. But not today. I've had under 100cals today and it was in the soy milk I dropped in my coffee. That's it. I think that might be why I feel so strong and powerful and vibrant: I'm ACTUALLY doing something right for once! It's pretty exciting! I'm fasting CORRECTLY!
I feel like I might actually wake up at 166.9 tomorrow, and that would be nice. 167 and up just doesn't satisfy me anymore. It's amazing how that works really. Once you get to a lower number, nothing higher is remotely satisfying anymore. I was so excited to get to 169 because I was out of the 170s, and now it's not enough because all I keep thinking about is how I'm not where I should be. I was suppose to be 159 by last day of the month. That's not going to happen, so I'm shooting for 165.4lbs as of the morning of the 30th. We'll see. That would be a new low for this round, so that's something.
I'm in class for another two hours, then I've got to go home and NOT BINGE and go to bed nice and early. I'm thinking 10pm. Lay down and turn everything off around 9:30pm and just chill.
I'm sick of being fat. Screw this shit.
No comments:
Post a Comment